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Dating advice from a married woman who hopes you
don’t waste as much of your single life as she did.

When I started seeing my husband, aka the first guy I
wasn’t embarrassed to tell my therapist about, I was
gobsmacked to realize how much I hadn’t known about
dating before then.

In fact, I’d been going about being single all wrong. I
didn’t have very much fun at it, which is depressing
since I didn’t pair up until my 30s. Besides, so much
luck was involved in my finding my match that there are
probably more alternate universes where I’m still living
solo than where I’m married.

I realize that my past experiences have made me who I
am today, but I still wish I could go back in time and
have a sisterly chat with poor, clueless, “younger me.” I
could’ve written three novels, started a business and
hiked the Appalachian Trail with all the wasted time
and energy. It’s too late for me, but maybe you can
learn from what I wish I knew then.

1. Finding a romantic partner is only one of many goals
you can have at once. There’s a difference between
making something a priority and having an obsession.
No one wants to be the Captain Ahab of the dating
world.

2. When you like a guy, and your mutual friends have
multiple anecdotes about him projectile vomiting after
excessive drinking, you need to rethink the infatuation.

You didn’t like it when your godson hurled on you, and
he was a toddler.

3. It’s not about getting someone to think you’re good
enough for them. It’s about finding someone you can
stand to spend a ridiculous amount of time with. It’s
about finding the puzzle piece you fit with and the Ernie
to your Bert.

4. Work on your gaydar. It’ll make your life much easier.

5. Sometimes boyfriends have little annoying habits.
And sometimes they have small behaviors that indicate
a complete lack of respect. If you wouldn’t let your
friend’s sweetie talk to her that way, don’t put up with
it yourself.

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